In simplest terms, a coalition is a group of individuals and/or organizations with a common interest who agree to work together toward a common goal. That goal could be as narrow as obtaining funding for a specific intervention, or as broad as trying to improve permanently the overall quality of life for most people in the community. By the same token, the individuals and organizations involved might be drawn from a narrow area of interest, or might include representatives of nearly every segment of the community, depending upon the breadth of the issue."
The Community Tool Box (see http://ctb.ku.edu/en/tablecontents/sub_section_main_1057.aspx)
Maybe it's my self confidence born from the strength of my own opinions (an asset or a character flaw depending upon whom is judging), my pragmatic nature tempered by my legal training, or a fusion of all, but I see great value in agreeing to disagree while acknowledging that others have the same legitimate right to their own opinions. It doesn't mean that I think I am any less "right" or they are any less "wrong." It means that we afford each other enough respect so that on those issues where we can find common ground we work together and on those issues we can't, we don't.
I learned early that principles come with a price and as long as I was willing to pay the price I was welcome to my principles. I understand that going along to get along is of great value and am willing to do so on matters that aren't bedrock to me. My dilemma is that so much of life is bedrock to me and compromising my principles just isn't worth the price. For better or worse, I have values that are important to me but sometimes make sense to no one else including my husband. There is much about which we agree (especially our core values) and much about which we disagree. So far (we'll be married 15 years in September) my husband and I love and respect each other enough to agree to disagree. I do realize that I am fortunate I can afford my principles. Unlike too many people in the world, I've always had enough. I don't know what is like to choose between my principles and my next meal or a roof over my head and I'm certainly not anxious to find out.
However, there are opportunities I've declined and others I've walked away from when agreeing to disagree was not an viable option either because the other party wouldn't or couldn't, or because even if we did agree to disagree, our positions on the issue were just too far apart for me to continue productively working together on that issue. This doesn't preclude me from working together with them on other issues, but when all is said and done, the advice of Shakespeare's Polonius, "This above all: to thine own self be true," works best for me. I work very hard not to make it "personal" and most of the time succeed including working with individuals I don't necessarily like but with whom I share a common goal.
The advantage of working with someone like me, especially when coalition building, is that you always know where you stand. I've never had time for head games nor the memory to consistently lie convincingly. When "it is what it is" I don't have to keep stories straight or remember which version of "the truth" I told to whom. For me it isn't personal, it just is. Years ago, my dad, who spent much of his career working in human services, told me that if I was in the human services field because I expected to find self fulfillment and gratification from the opinions of others, I needed to find another field. My self fulfillment should come from my knowing that I did a job well done and not from what others think of me. My dad's career advice simply was an extension of my upbringing where it was ingrained in me (either naturally or by my parents) that what mattered most was competing with myself to be the best I possibly could rather than competing with my peers. The older I get, the more this rings true.
For the past decade while dealing with the challenge of raising a child with autism who also has chronic health issues that allude diagnosis let alone treatment, I've spent my spare time advocating within the Arizona Autism Community, the Disability Community and the Community at large while building my own network of people interested in working together to improve the lives of those affected by autism and other developmental disabilities. Too often it can prove to be a daunting challenge given the diverse make up of the Autism Community where the very vocal members (including parents, autistics and professionals who work in the field) fiercely and passionately hold fast to their opinion of "the truth" as they experience it further complicated because there are far more unknowns than knowns about autism. However, I have a penchant for ferreting out resources and talents others hide just below the surface and knitting them together to advance our common cause. Again, depending upon whom is judging, this talent is either an asset or a character flaw. I once had a boss who commented that I had no problem taking other's ideas and running with them while always being sure to credit the original source. He didn't mean it as a compliment, but it was the most flattering thing he ever said about me. I don't advocate and coalition build within the Autism Community because I think others will be "grateful" or because it is my mission to "save" others. I do it because it needs to be done and sharing my resources (skills, experience and knowledge) with others adds much value to the hard work I do navigating "the system" on behalf of my son and our family in order for us to receive the supports and services we need. My self gratification continues to come from a job well done.
The development and evolution of social media affords us an amazing coalition building vehicle. I'm not sure how many people read my ramblings on this blog (I confess that not only am I not good at blogging regularly but I also am not marketing my blog beyond my own FaceBook posts). However, for the past decade I've participated in a few local online support groups (yahoogroups.com and more recently FaceBook) that I've personally found very helpful. I also sit on the Board of the AZ Autism Coalition, a nonprofit lacking bricks and mortar whose mission is to work together for systems change to improve the lives of those living in Arizona affected by autism. We provide resources and enable advocacy through social media (website, FaceBook, LinkedIn and Twitter), conferences and public meetings especially when public policy issues arise for which the members of the Autism Community need reliable information and an opportunity to meet and network (both in person and online) with one another so that we can work together for a common cause. We members of the AZ Autism Coalition don't always agree, but we work hard to "agree to disagree" and afford each other enough respect so that on those issues where we can find common ground we work together and on those issues we can't, we don't.
