God's Not Dead

A few days ago while my son was in school I sat waiting alone in my quiet car listening to the original cast album of Jesus Christ Superstar, the religious touchstone of my generation, quietly shedding tears of of sorrow and joy, as I should, during Easter week while remembering the Passion of Jesus Christ. The night before I was unable to attend Passover Dinner with friends (scheduling challenges are a constant reality for parents raising children with special needs); one of our annual family holiday celebrations. While it isn't exactly my family's holiday, it has become a tradition for us to join our local Jewish "Framily" for Passover Dinner and they come to our house for Christmas Eve. Several of us were unable to attend but along with Elijah, we were there in spirit and know there always is a place for us at the table. This year it was especially important that our hostess, who is facing some health challenges, have loving friends and family around her table so my husband graciously attended and represented us. It was a tough sacrifice but someone had to do it and somehow he managed to enjoy the amazing company, conversation and food for the both of us. ;)  Next year in Jerusalem or at least together at the same table!

Yesterday while my son was in school I saw the movie God's Not Dead. It was worth seeing even though the movie was smug with a trite plot and a pat ending. My life experience, like my faith, is more raw and gritty; replete with blood, guts (with my son it's usually those other unpleasant body substances), unanswered questions and messy endings. Nothing, not even death, is tied up in a pretty package complete with a bow. However, it's a wonderful world especially in all its challenge, complexity, confusion and messiness.

This week my husband and I talked about how we might more formally share our religious inheritance with our son. We're Catholic and even though the parish we found when we first moved here was a good fit for us (now very difficult for me to find in a diocese led by an ultra conservative bishop), the church still is too large for our son to attend mass without sensory overload. The last time we inquired about possible accommodations several years ago it was made clear that we would have to make all of the arrangements; one more among so many challenges for us to solve. Over the years we stopped attending mass as it just didn't feel right to belong to a parish, no matter how liberal, that didn't include all of us. Our son now is reaching a point in his development where he can begin to sit and pay attention for more than a few minutes; essential for religious instruction. I found an appropriate curriculum online so when he is ready we'll order the book and teach him at home. We'll again approach a parish that is a good fit for all of us when the time comes for our son to receive First Communion and Confirmation. Until then we'll keep informally sharing our faith with him at home. 

This is an exciting time to be a Catholic now that Pope Francis is helping the Holy Spirit breathe fresh air into the Institutional Church. I look forward to my Church welcoming me rather than shutting the door in my face and telling me I no longer am a Catholic because although my core beliefs align, I don't agree with all of the local bishop's interpretations of "the rules." Since leaving Utica in 1997, in my heart, I've remained a member of the Syracuse, NY Catholic Diocese now literally adrift in the desert.  ;)