If He Were My Student I'd Be Proud

In the middle of a more challenging than usual week (husband visited the ER 2Xs, spent 2 nights inpatient and had a cardiac cath ~ no new issues to worry about, thank God, recovering well), the public school district psychologist phoned in (yes it's legal) to a tri-annual meeting (the legally mandated opportunity for my son's IEP Team to request formal educational testing if needed) held at my son's private school (the district pays his tuition). According to the rules of good advocacy I should have kept my mouth shut. My son attends an amazing school with an amazing staff where he gets the education program he needs without any interference (their annual contribution is the check) from our public school district personnel. But I just couldn't help myself. This was the 2nd scheduling of the meeting (she never bothered to call in the 1st time). The week before she actually did drive out (we commute to school 50 minutes each way thru downtown Phoenix during rush hour) to school to meet and observe my son for a whole hour (1st time in 5 years. Previous district observations lasted 5 minutes.) Of course the observation only happened after an email from me (she blew off the 1st scheduled observation again without any notice to his teacher) reminding her that as parents of a school district child and as taxpayers we expected to be treated with the same courtesy as any other district family. In concluding the meeting she said, "If he were my student I would be proud of him." I threw caution and the rules of good advocacy to the wind and replied, "He is your student." She then retorted, "You know what I mean" along with a lame explanation. Obviously my email wasn't as effective as it needed to be because she still didn't get it. But I do know EXACTLY what she really meant and after a decade of dealing with teachers, therapists, doctors and other direct service providers along with the support staff and administrators tasked with keeping "the system" working, I am sick of people paid to help my son who just "phone it in." There is no excuse, period. In the past decade I have wasted countless hours inspiring those paid to help my son simply to do their jobs by using any way at my disposal necessary (as long as it was legal). I especially have perfected the "you are so overworked and underpaid" empathy. In direct contrast, in the past decade we have been blessed with teachers, therapists, doctors and other direct service providers along with the support staff and administrators tasked with keeping "the system" working who truly are members of my son's team doing all they can to help him grow and reach his fullest potential. His school is staffed with enthusiastic "kids" (I can call them that now that I am 50) blessed with infinite patience for whom no challenge is too great. My son's pediatrician reads about treating my son's ailments (he is her most challenging patient) when she can't sleep at 2 am. Our good friend spent the last 6 years as head of our State's agency responsible for providing services for individuals with developmental disabilities and their families. While you couldn't have paid me, or most anyone else, all the tea in China to do her job, she hung in there and shepherded the agency through draconian cuts while doing everything humanly possible (although I do suspect a touch of divine intervention) to protect the most vulnerable. Every minute I spend supporting and encouraging these people is a privilege for which I am grateful.