The Bank of Frank

If you ask my husband about our 1st introduction he'll tell you I met him at church, took him to a bar, followed him home and then he took me to a homeless shelter. That is what happened, but not exactly. After closing my law practice I relocated to Raleigh, NC and stayed with my sister and her family for a few months while I figured out what I wanted to do with the rest of my life. Not excited with the bar scene, I attended a Catholic Singles Group to meet people. My future husband was standing next to me in the pizza line and inquired about my computer operating system (It was 1997). I couldn't wait for the line to finish until I met the rest of the group who all wanted me to Monday Morning Quarterback their divorces (previous occupational hazard). A few of us went out for a drink afterward and since he lived off the highway a few miles before my sister's town, I followed him (the Raleigh Beltline is not newbie friendly). My future husband, who organized the Singles Group volunteer activity of cooking breakfast at a homeless shelter one Saturday a month, invited me to join them so I did. My future husband was known within the singles group as every woman's safe date. I dubbed him the Bank of Frank because he is so trustworthy and reliable. Until he met me he was happy as the male buddy because every other woman scared him by viewing him as a project who needed to be fixed. After a decade in Family Court I had a good idea of what didn't work in a marriage. I am a fixer of problems but I know enough never to try and fix people. He fell in love waiting in that pizza line or maybe it was sitting at the bar later that clinched it. He can tell you exactly what I was wearing that night. Of course, like many on the autism spectrum, he thinks in pictures plus he has a photographic memory so it is a bit easier for him to remember all the small details. Before our 5th anniversary we spent the 1st six months of our marriage living in Germany (we traveled 22 out of 26 weekends) and then lived in 3 states. We survived a miscarriage, 2 layoffs (our son was 6 weeks for the 1st and the 2nd was 3 months after relo-ing to Phoenix), my sister's death 12 weeks after diagnosis from cancer and our 19 month old son being diagnosed with autism. My husband has unwavering faith. He just knows that no matter what, everything will work out fine. I, on the other hand, am more comfortable with faith by action. I believe that God helps he who helps himself because we all have the resources we need to meet our challenges. We just need to wake up, recognize the resources around us and then use them. During those rare times my faith waivers I rely on The Bank of Frank. He is my rock.