Routine Is Everything

For the past few weeks I've been up a few hours earlier than the usual 6 am. My husband's work hours shifted to accommodate a coworker's vacation and for some reason our son has been waking up early to pee and staying awake. Routine is everything when raising a child with autism, especially one who can not yet communicate using words. The predictability of a routine and advance warning about changes makes him feel more secure in a world that constantly threatens to overwhelm him because his body just doesn't regulate itself very well. My natural talent for thinking and acting quickly on my feet gave me an edge during witness cross examination and now enables me to be a clairvoyant mind reader. Maybe in my next career I'll be a Mentalist. As long as I am prepared enough for the three of us and we remember to forewarn our son whenever possible about changes, everyday life runs relatively smoothly. Although my husband has an ADD diagnosis and is somewhere on the autism spectrum, luckily he has no problem navigating change for himself. Over the years he's developed small routines and rituals that help him be prepared for life's contingencies. My husband is so successful that other people have no clue that transition is a challenge for him. Over the past decade he also has gotten pretty good at making sure he is prepared for most predictable contingencies regarding our son, but my husband will never be a clairvoyant mind reader. That remains my job. Last night I visited a friend who is in the hospital. She has been in excruciating pain for the past 5 weeks all the while keeping her plates spinning. She home schools her two sons, each of whom has his own special needs. Add in her daughter who has her own health issues and a few weeks ago just delivered her 2nd baby within 16 months. Then there is her brother-in-law who is still sleeping on her couch after a year and a half while trying to secure employment. My friend is viewing her hospital stay as much needed time away from the demands of her family so she can heal. She has no choice. Her body said enough. Now it is her turn. She gave her husband a detailed list and so far he is surviving after 2 days of holding down the fort. Things may not be done up to her standards but everyone in her family remains alive and well. Every once in a while even clairvoyant mind readers need a break as long as we prepare everyone else in advance for this contingency.