Welcome to Holland

The new staffers at my son's school think he is among their easiest students. They have no idea about his challenges of even a few years ago. What finally made the difference for my son came at our darkest hour totally by accident. For 6 years he suffered from excruciating headaches so painful he tried to bang his head through our floors (here in AZ ground floors sit atop a concrete slab). He was in so much pain and we were so desperate after running out of specialists with whom to consult that we admitted him to the locked Biobehavior Unit at Phoenix Children's Hospital. Because the admitting psychiatrist preferred one medication over another (like I prefer Coke to Pepsi) he changed them out and for my son that has made all the difference. Even afterward the doctors were skeptical but you can't argue with the results. My son's psychiatrist told me during our last visit that since the medication change for my son, he has treated several other children with the same medication reaction now that he is aware of the possibility. Last year the psychiatrist added a new medication that also is making a major difference for my son. Suddenly my son's future is filled with many new possibilities as he continues to make progress. Amazing what you can learn when you aren't in so much pain that you put your head through the wall seeking relief to no avail. Many are familiar with the poem Welcome to Holland by Emily Perl Kingsley (http://www.lovethatmax.com/2011/03/interview-with-author-of-welcome-to.html) in which she analogizes raising a child with special needs to taking a trip to Holland when you expected to be taking a trip to Italy. Welcome to Beruit by Susan F. Rzucidlo (http://www.bbbautism.com/beginners_beirut.htm) is the corollary written by a parent raising a child with autism. I've never visited Holland or Beriut, but Italy is my second favorite country (after the USA). My husband and I spent 10 glorious days exploring Rome, Pisa, Florence and Venice during the 6 months we lived in Germany when we were first married. Midnight Mass at St. Peter's was a bucket list item along with meeting Justice Sandra Day O'Connor (food for thought for another blog entry). We hoped when our children were middle school age (that would be now) we'd find a way to score a 3 year corporate assignment in Europe, preferably Italy. Alas that opportunity is not to be... Instead we are in the AZ desert (my least favorite place) for the foreseeable future. In the past decade, without meaning to (we were too focused on daily survival to even notice), we've built a wonderful life and a home for ourselves in this God forsaken desert. We belong. We have friends who are our extended family. We celebrate holidays with them. We laugh, cry and kvetch together. They worry about us and we worry about them. Our son is surrounded by a loving community of friends who watch out for him. I may not like the desert and it certainly isn't Italy but I love our life here. Home is where your heart is and no matter what your head may say, you need to just have faith and follow your heart.